I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
