so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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