Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
