When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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