I cannot find my penis.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
