I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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