Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
