Pants 0. Shit 1.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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