I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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