No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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