I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
