There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
