how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
