If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
