she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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