New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
