I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
