He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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