Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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