Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
