i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
