So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
