he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
