Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
We just shotgunned beers for America
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
