I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
