Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
