Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
