hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
