am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
