At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
