foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
