Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
