Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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