He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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