can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
