Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize