just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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