I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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