You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I touched a dick in church today
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
