Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
