So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
