What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
