I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Every concussion has its silver lining
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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