It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
