I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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