i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
