okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
