They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
