I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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