I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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