I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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