Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
